The Night Before Christmas
(a wireless parody -- with apologies to
Clement C. Moore)
T'was the night before Christmas, and all
through the land, People were scurrying to get
new technology in their hand.
Careening through malls, in and out of each store,
Searching for phones and tablets and more.
But I was at home with my wireless phone,
Downloading apps and ordering fancy ringtones,
Scanning the app stores to see what was new
To tell all my readers just what they should do.
Through thousands of apps I started to churn,
My fingers so tattered they started to burn,
I thought to myself, "let me jump to health care,"
To find more applications that I could now share.
The screen of my phone was beginning to glow,
As I played mobile games and watched TV shows,
But when fun time was over and shopping was done,
I settled back down waiting for Santa to come.
In just a few minutes I'd fallen asleep,
When a loud noise rang out from the dark and the deep,
I reached for the nightstand to check out my phone,
And quite quickly realized it wasn't my ringtone.
I jumped out of bed to look out on the roof,
Thinking it was Dad who was playing a goof,
I pulled back the curtain and what did appear,
But a hot looking sled, and eight tiny reindeer,
The guy in the suit was a sight to behold,
He wasn't as ancient as what I'd been told,
But more like a superhero with gadgets galore,
Who looked like he'd come from a wireless store.
Reaching into a holster, he pulled out a device,
It resembled an iPad all covered with ice,
The smartphone he used was really quite slick,
So I knew in an instant this dude was St. Nick.
He tapped on the pad, and spoke to it too,
Maybe he was checking Facebook or YouTube,
He adjusted the Femtocell attached to his sled,
His priority access kept him on sked.
Gathering presents and moving with speed,
No wires or plugs did this St. Nick need,
A Bluetooth device dangled from his ruddy left ear,
He jumped down the chimney showing no fear.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Filling the stockings, with high-tech gifts and mirth,
His earpiece was buzzing, so he sat on the couch,
Checking his messages this guy was no slouch.
When all was done, he saw I was looking,
He laughed out so loud, I asked "what was cooking?"
"That was your Mom," was his jovial reply,
She sent a text message, "thnx 4 stpng by."
I knew there was more to the message of thanks,
And again I was thinking it was one of Dad's pranks,
The dude didn't give away what Mom really said,
Slid an Android device in my stocking,
and told me, "Get to bed."
He sprang to his sleigh, to his teams gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"
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